i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
