So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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