Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
