I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
if i died would you start the facebook group?
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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