I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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