i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
