'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize
