Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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