office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
