How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
