I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
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