real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Randomize
