She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
