Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
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