The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
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