My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
