i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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