let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
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