It's Friday. Sex?
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
