yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
