it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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