yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
