I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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