That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
