Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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