I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize