He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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