Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
