I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
