so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize