Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
