The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
