Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
