last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
