6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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