My hand turned me down
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
