I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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