oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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