Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
