Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
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