You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
