i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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