KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
