Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I could fuck to npr.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
