Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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