I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
