dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
