I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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