i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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