You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Randomize
