im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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