is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Randomize
