we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
