If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
