She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
