My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
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