it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
