Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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